When one door closes, another opens.
That’s how you came into it Fayt.
Those months I waited for Arcadeus?
You stood by me, merry and cheerful you stated something akin to,
"Well I have nothing better to do."
"The World doesn’t have any predetermined goals or any finale so I can do what I want with my time here."
"What else are friends for?"
Months, Fayt. Not hours or days, months.
You stuck by me for months, always offering words of encouragement.
There was no true sadness between us.
You disappeared, it hurt.
I waited, but did not let my heart falter.
Till the very last moment I saw you. You held my hand, guided me.
I had clouded my judgement of you, blind to the wonderous times and instead, only seeing the hurt of abandonment. I only saw a repeated action of Arcadeus.
In your absence I had found another and managed to move on with my life. Heh, I suppose you could call me the harlot or perhaps temptress of ‘The World’ huh? So feverishly moving onto the next who would mark my heart.
I guess I was lonely, weak. I held such a strong façade one of the highest levelled players in The World. Some expected great things of me, I wanted to live up to them.
Sometimes, I replay those last moments in my head. It was at the Integral Ball. That one night, everything goes back to that one night, the night I saw you for the last time, the night I was with Dragon and the night I had left everything to follow a false God…Epsilon.
I was distracted and you had approached me with arms wide open. Despite the time we were apart you still cared for me greatly I could tell by the elation of your voice and the way your eyes lit up. You asked for a dance, I told you I was with another and you know the funny thing?
Your smile didn’t falter.
I don’t know what you were feeling inside, but your smile stayed fast and true. You congratulated me and held me, apologizing for your absence. I admit, despite my feelings for Dragon I felt a little guilty, because amongst all the bile of humanity you seemed like an innocent child.
I guess my impression of you was wrong as you let me go your face took on a look of concern and worry, your grip probably tightened, I imagined it did. But hey, we were in a game such things cannot be felt right?
You told me you were going away, far far away. Bad people were after you and you trusted me with important documentation. You gave me your address, and told me to retrieve them and that another you trusted would retrieve them from me. I agreed and that, was the last I saw of you…Fayt.
It’s been a few years since then, I still have those documents you know.
Some are covered in dust hidden in a box beneath the floorboards. A guilty pleasure of mine? Retrieving them and holding them fast to myself.
Because I like to believe that faint scent, reminiscent of hickory…is you. Sure my feelings of longing and love are long gone, but I miss you Fayt.
Part of me, wants your informant to come, so I can hold true for my word. Another never wants that to happen.
So I may forever hold onto a memento of you, of us and the time we shared.